Please Don't Use These Words...

This blog post might make people a little upset. Mostly because they may have done what I'm about to tell you about. And they weren't intending to be hurtful so it might make them mad. If this applies to you, my intention isn't to upset you... It's to enlighten you. So don't take offense. Just try to understand. When I moved across the country at the age of 24 with my husband of 2 days (I'll save that story for another time), it was the single hardest thing I had ever done. Leaving my family, going to live in a town I had never spent time in, no family, no friends - just the two of us. It was TOUGH. When I was in an accelerated BSN program, it was the new hardest thing I had ever done. Late nights studying, obscene pressure, becoming a nurse that would hold people's lives in my hands... It was TOUGH. When I was pregnant with Liam, experiencing all the unknown feelings, watching my body change, worrying about what I was already doing wrong, going 9 days past my due date, it was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Getting up 45 times a night to go to the bathroom, navigating muscle aches and hip pain, trying to keep my emotions in check... it was TOUGH. Do you see a theme yet? Now, I am a mom of one. And it is the hardest thing I've ever done. Every milestone, every fear, every bad day seems impossibly unique and some days just plain impossible. It is TOUGH. At each of these moments in my life, what I was going through was truly the most difficult time of my life. When I vented on social media or to friends and family, I wanted to hear that I could do it. I wanted to hear it would be okay; that I was strong enough. But then, every once in a while, someone would chime in with the two most dreaded words (to me) in the English language: "Just wait." In the spirit of honesty and transparency I will tell you that every time I have heard those words, I have wanted to gauge the eyes out of the person that said it. No two words make me feel less validated in my worry, my fear, my exhaustion, my tears. It's like saying "you're not allowed to feel that way because it will get harder later." Newsflash: most people with a brain know that things can always get worse, get harder. To be honest, these words have only really started to affect me since being pregnant. I am not dumb. I knew that the baby would keep me up all night and I would be more tired than I could imagine. I know now that I will face new and more difficult days when my son is a toddler, then school age, then a teenager. I know that two is harder than one (I don't live under a rock). To anyone that has ever spoken those words to a new mom, especially to other parents, I want you to think back. Think back to those early days when you didn't know up from down. You hadn't slept in 34 hours, hadn't showered in 2 days, and seriously questioned whether or not it was possible for breastfeeding to cause your nipples to detach and fall off. Don't think about what's happened since, just put yourself in that moment. Think about learning to navigate leaving the house with your first born a few weeks into his or her life. Do you remember how you thought long and hard about how many outfits you needed to bring, which toys, which diapers, how many wipes? Did you need that bulb syringe? How many layers did he need? Remember that anxiety? Think about trying to get your baby on a schedule. Remember how much you worried about if he was getting enough sleep? How long could you let him cry without it harming the person he might become? Did you have time to run to the store or would he be overtired and lose his window to nap? Remember that worry? Think about how long the days seemed when you just had one. Before you had two and realized how long they could get. You were truly, honestly, and genuinely exhausted. You didn't know how you could get through the next 18 minutes, let alone the next 18 years. That was REAL. And just because you know how much harder it CAN get, doesn't mean that it wasn't the most difficult thing you'd ever done at that time. Think about the paralyzing fear that overcame you when you just THOUGHT about having baby number 2. Could you handle it? Could you love another tiny human the same way? Would you ever sleep again? Will they love each other? I bet when you felt those feels, hearing "wait 'til you have two!" didn't help a lick. So to all of you amazing veteran parents that have stood where all of us brand new parents standing and understand that things DO get harder, please try to remember. Remember the worry. The fear. The anxiety. Remember the feeling of learning HOW to be a parent. Instead of telling us about how it gets worse, it gets harder, tell us we are doing great. Tell us that it is worth it. Tell us about the GOOD. Don't scare us with the bad that is to come. I know you mean no harm. I know that you've been here and survived. Your kids are alive, fed, and wearing clothes. To me, that means you made it. Help me make it. Next time you feel the urge to use those two ugly words, close your eyes and try to remember how you felt when you were in my shoes. And then stop yourself from taking away the validation from my current overemotional state. Give me a pat on the back and then smile. Smile because you know how hard it CAN get, and reminisce about how you made it through. I know the trenches will keep getting deeper. But today, they're as deep as they've ever been. And that's okay. You've been there too.

xo,
C

An Open Letter to my Newly Pregnant Friend

Dear Friend,

First of all, congratulations!!! You are officially part of the mom club. It's a pretty cool group to be a part of. Instead of welcoming you in with advice, I want to welcome you in with a few promises. 

I promise to never give you unsolicited advice but always answer all of your questions. I will not overwhelm you with facts and tips. I will not scare you with my own fears or scary realities. I will simply answer your questions to the best of my ability and share the resources I loved so you can sleep easier knowing what you need to know but not what you don't. 

I promise that your fears are normal. I know that your heart is overwhelmed with emotion and, this early on especially, a lot of fear and worry. You are doing everything right. God, the Universe (or whatever Higher Power or Force you believe in) is carrying out The Master Plan. You just keep loving that baby hard and doing what you are doing. It will all work out how it is supposed to. 

I promise to never say "just wait." Every day is blissful and terrifying all at the same time. When I was pregnant, each day was a battle between feeling good and bad. When I felt bad, I hated when people took that validation away from me by telling me to just wait for it to get "worse." Your feelings - physical and emotional - are very valid. You can vent and rejoice about them to me and I will just listen. And hug you if you need it. 

I promise to help you understand that no matter how you feel, you are beautiful. You're creating a life. You are glowing with equal parts joy and sweat. You do not look fat. You are radiant. I know you are focusing on your insecurities but all we can see from here is beauty. 

I promise to steal you away for pampering. Because pedicures make everything better.

I promise to tell you it's ok to eat ice cream for dinner. Not every night. But some nights. 

I promise to be there when you are scared, because it's inevitable. I will reassure you that most of those tiny pains and kicks are normal and when I'm not sure, I'll encourage you to call your doctor so she can reassure you too. 

I promise to help you know you are not alone. It can be scary being pregnant for the first time. No matter how supportive your husband is, he isn't feeling all the feels. He is certainly probably terrified and excited, but he isn't actually pregnant. He's not nauseated. He's not fatigued. He's not worrying about every move he makes somehow affecting the baby. You may feel alone, but you aren't. I've been there and I promise to make you feel like you aren't crazy - because you are not. 

I promise your husband to talk you out of kicking him in the nuts when he says or does something that drives you crazy. He really is trying. He just wants to keep you and his new son or daughter safe. But he's going through a lot, too. He might feel like he will never be able to just be one of the boys again so he may be trying to hurry up and squeeze as much of that pre-dad life into the next 9 months. But he will always, always put you first. I know this because I know him. He means well. So when you want to kick him, just call me and yell about it. I'll listen and you'll feel better. 

I promise, mostly, just to be there for you. Every pregnancy is different. You will go through things I never did. And I will have had experiences you never will. But you are already doing an amazing job. All those worries are valid and worth it. Because before you know it, you'll be holding your own heart in your arms. And he (or she) will be your biggest accomplishment. 

And one last thing... You are already a great mom. 

With love,

Your friend that gets it. 

Gone are the days...

In my 7 months of motherhood, I have learned so much about myself, about just how amazing my husband is (shh, don't tell him I said that), and about LIFE. 

I have learned that what were the hardest and most stressful times in my life before becoming a mom were NOTHING compared to hearing your baby cry and not being able to soothe him immediately, and NOTHING compared being rushed down a hall for an emergency c-section. I have learned that tired is relative - sleeping "only" 7 hours no longer qualifies in my book as a reason to be tired... in fact, I believe that now qualifies as a vacation. I've learned just how much you can love and want to protect another human being. 

All of those amazing things about motherhood have me thinking lately about what life was like before I entered the mom-club. It's hard to even remember sometimes. There is a lot about life before motherhood that I do think of and wish for now. But those days are gone... 

Gone are the days of sleeping in until 10:00. (Or even 7:00). 

Gone are the days of taking long, hot showers. 

Gone are the days of deciding to head out to dinner at 8PM.

Gone are the days of binge watching television shows.

Gone are the days of last minute planning.

Gone are the days of eating out 5 nights a week.

Gone are the days of going to the movies on a whim.

Gone are the days of running quick errands and leaving the house with just one bag.

Gone are the days of disposable income.

Gone are the days of perky boobs. 

Gone are the days of spending hours getting ready to go out for a night. 

Gone are the days of privacy and peeing alone. 

Gone are the days of peace and quiet.

Gone are the days of having a sharp memory. 

Gone are the days of spontaneity. 

Gone are the days of selfishness.

These are the days of sleeplessness. 

These are the days of the 5 minute shower.

These are the days of yoga pants.

These are the days of saggy boobs. 

These are the days of planning ahead.

These are the days of packing a bag to run to the drug store.

These are the days of Mickey Mouse and Paw Patrol. 

These are the days of bottles and finger foods. 

These are the days of peeing with an audience. 

These are the days of endless noise.

But these are also really great days... 

These are the days of joyful laughter.

These are the days of memories that last a life time.

These are the days of precious moments.

These are the days of unending learning and growing.  

These are the days of overwhelming, heart-melting, awe-inspiring, gratefulness and unconditional love. 

All in all, I'd say these days are pretty much as good as it gets, wouldn't you, momma? 

Ultimate Reset: Week 3 Recap

The last week of the Ultimate Reset was definitely the toughest MENTALLY for me!!! Knowing that I was in the home stretch made each day drag on and on. However, looking back at it, it flew! I feel like I just wrote my week two recap!

Week three of the Reset is the Restore Phase. This phase focuses on restoring your metabolism to maximum efficiency, putting nutrients, enzymes, and pre- and probiotics back into your system. Most all of our food was fruits and vegetables. We introduced our 6th and final supplement this week as well - Revitalize. This supplement is what his used to restore healthy bacteria in the gut after it was scrubbed clean during the 1st two weeks. Restoring that good bacteria is something that is often neglected by other cleanses!

This week, my body felt amazing. I just FEEL better in the best ways - ways I cannot find words for. I have more sustainable energy, I'm more motivated, I've been sleeping as best as one can with a 7 month old. Yes, I am tired at the end of the day, but I am able to keep going all day!

I am so much more aware of my food tendencies now - I truly am an emotional eater and use food as a band-aid. I have proven to myself that I am perfectly capable eating 3 solid meals a day and one snack. I will probably stay with 3 meals of bigger substance and 2 small snacks, adding an AM snack back in as an option. But I do not have to graze all day! Who knew?!

The food the week was, as I said, fruits and veggies. I could eat 3 cups of fruit for breakfast every day for the rest of my life - it is truly nature's candy!!! I went into this, as you may know, gagging when vegetables hit my tongue. I had my veggie stir-fry last night and ate every bite. CRAZY, right?! I now LOVE veggies cooked in coconut oil with a little bit of garlic and Himalayan pink salt - no more cheese required. That is probably something I am most proud of!!

So let's cut to the chase, right?! What are my final results?!?!

My measurements:
Waist: -3 inches
Hips: -2.5 inches
Chest: -1 inch
Right Arm: -0.75 inches
Left Arm: -0.75 inches
Right Thigh: -2 inches
Left Thigh: - 2.25 inches
Total Loss: 13.5 inches

Weight: Down 17.7 POUNDS!!!

My husband, Bill, has also lost a significant amount of weight and inches!!

His measurements are:
Waist: -3 inches
Hips: - 1.5 inches
Chest: -1.5 inches
Right Arm: -0.5 inches
Left Arm: -0.75 inches
Right Thigh: -0.75 inches
Left Thigh: -1.25 inches
Total loss: -9.25 inches

Weight: DOWN 18 POUNDS!!!

I am tempted to load this post up with sappy proclamations of appreciation but I am going to write a full journey recap about my emotions instead. Just know that if you are reading this, I am so THANKFUL for you - for your support, your encouragement, your belief, your prayers, your comments, your likes, all of it. THANK YOU!!!

My Ultimate Reset Journey

I remember the exact moment I committed with my friend & mentor, Nikki, to this program. We were sitting next to a gorgeous pool in Cancun. Me in my swimsuit, less than 6 months postpartum and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. Full of self-doubt and self-depricating thoughts. Surrounded by other coaches that were a lot farther ahead of me on their journey and looking beautiful.

We decided we were going to do this together, and Bill was, too. And I told her there was NO way I could do this successfully without giving up a week or two in. In Cancun, all of that self-doubt and self-criticism I had been harboring since I had Liam came to a head. But the funny part is that, even there, God was showing me how capable I am in my new post-baby body.

A little story about that... We did a LIVE Insanity: Max 30 workout with Shaun T himself and as we walked out, I CRIED. Because I actually kept up. And I didn't think I could. I was so sure I would fail and so unsure of my postpartum ability that I was a ball of emotion all over a 30 minute workout (ok, it was a really hard one). But I did it!!!

That emotion, that pride and confidence, is pouring out of me as I type this tonight. And I am also THANKFUL.

I am so THANKFUL for the two people that started and ended this journey with me - Nikki & my husband, Bill. We have all vented, whined, laughed, joked a lot about cheese fries, and a few of us even shed some tears. I could not have done this without their unwavering support knowing they were right there with me.

I am so THANKFUL for all of YOU reading this. For every time you commented on an update, liked a photo, or reached out to check on me. For my close friends that checked in on me and encouraged me daily. Some of you were starting this just a few days after we did and we held hands. Some of you want nothing to do with this but still reached out to check on me. I thought of YOU every time I wanted to cheat.

I repeated a verse in my head every day when things got hard: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Over and over I said it, day after day. And I believe it more now than ever, as crazy as that sounds. Because this girl was SURE she would FAIL. And here I am - an Ultimate Reset graduate!

And whether or not you are a person of faith, you CAN do this too. You can find a mantra that suits your beliefs and repeat it over and over. When things get hard, with WHATEVER struggle you are experiencing, go to that place in your mind where you find your strength. Repeat your mantra. You can push through.

Night 21 - Finally done and finally PROUD!

I am so EXCITED that I took this leap of faith and did something SO outside of my comfort zone. I am so anxious to get my final before and after photos submitted to Beachbody for a chance to win a daily $500 giveaway (they give 3 people with great transformations $500 each day!)! I am SO excited for the people that have committed to this program after seeing someone like me actually make it through!!!

We are starting our Ultimate Reset group the last week of May - after Memorial Day. I am going to be the veteran guide in the challenge group - I'll be there for you to vent and whine and celebrate with. I'll clue you into little hacks I learned along the way. If you are interested in joining us, just fill out this form below!!!

Fill out my online form.

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Ultimate Reset Week 2 Recipe Favorites

Ultimate Reset Week 2 was challenging but worth it! Our bodies are detoxed. I am down a total of 12 pounds after 2 weeks and Bill is down nearly 14! Here are a few of the recipes we really enjoyed!

Fresh Fruit Plate
Makes 1 Serving

3/4 cup strawberries
1/2 cup raspberries
3/4 cup blueberries
1/2 cup blackberries
1 kiwifruit sliced

**We ate this for breakfast daily and it was delicious

Pinto Beans & Rice
Makes 1 serving

1/2 cup canned pinto beans, with liquid
1 cup cooked brown rice
1 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil
1 tsp. ground smoked paprika
1 dash ground cumin
1/4 tsp. coriander
1 tsp. Braggs Liquid Aminos
Himalayan Pink Salt to taste

Heat beans over medium heat for 3-5 minutes (until hot). Drain. Add oil, paprika, cumin, coriander, and Aminos and mix. Fold in warm cooked rice.

Serve with 1 cup steamed zucchini and 1 cup string beans with lemon juice and 2 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil

Sweet Potato and Roasted Red Pepper Bisque
Makes 1 serving

1 cup water
1 medium sweet potato (or yam) peeled, cubed
1/4 medium red bell pepper
1 tsp. finely grated ginger root
1 1/2 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil
2 tsp miso paste, mixed with 2 tbsp. hot water
1 cup vegetable broth (or water)
Himalayan salt to taste

Boil water. Add sweet potato and cook for 5-7 minutes. Drain and set aside. Roast red bell pepper on grill (or gas stovetop) until skin is evenly charred, turning frequently. Place in a medium bowl and cover with a kitchen fowl for 10 minutes. Peel skin under running water, remove seeds, chop into 1/2-inch cubes.

Place sweet potato, bell pepper, ginger, oil, miso, and north in a blender and blend until smooth. If consistency is too thick, add water. Heat soup in a medium saucepan over medium heat to cook, stirring frequently for 4-5 minutes or until hot. Add salt if desired.

*Serve with a serving of roasted or steamed asparagus

Quinoa-Lentil Pilaf
Makes 1 serving

1 1/2 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 medium carrot, diced
1/2 medium celery stalk, diced
1/4 medium onion, diced
1/4 medium red bell pepper, diced
1/4 tsp. ground smoked paprika
1 dash ground cumin
1/4 tsp. turmeric
3/4 cup cooked quinoa (1 cup of dry quinoa, 2 cups cold water - bring to a boil, reduce to simmer and cover for 20-25 minutes. Remove from heat and let sit covered for 10 minutes before lifting lid)
1/4 cup cooked lentils
1 1/2 tsp. grated lemon peel
1 1/2 tsp. fresh lemon juice
2 tbsp. finely chopped fresh parsley

Heat oil over medium-high heat. Add carrot, celery, onion, bell pepper, paprika, cumin, and turmeric; cook, stirring frequently, for 5 minutes or until tender. Add quinoa, lentils, lemon peel, lemon juice, and parsley to the cooked vegetables. Heat over medium heat for 2-3 minutes until heated through.

Enjoy!!!
xo,
C

Ultimate Reset: Week 2 Recap

It has been 14 long, hard, mentally tough days and I am proud to say I MADE IT to the last week of the Ultimate Reset!!! This nutrition-based cleanse is TOUGH but it is so worth it. My stats & progress pics are posted at the bottom so read on!!!

Week two is the Release Phase. We completely eliminated all animal products including dairy, meat, and eggs. This week is about releasing the toxic compounds that are stored within our tissues, clogging cells and blocking proper nutrient absorption. It also included a gentle colon cleanse, however, I didn't notice anything drastic in that department. With the release of toxins, I did notice a had a small breakout on my face.

Supplements this week included: Alkalinize, Optimize, Mineralize, Detox, and Soothe, so we added Detox to our medley. Here are what each of the supplements do:

Alkalinize - this is mixed with 2-4 oz. of water and helps maintain alkalinity in the body. (Did you know that acidic bodies are more prone to disease and cancer?)

Mineralize - this is mixed in with your distilled water that you drink throughout the day. It adds minerals to the body.

Optimize - this is a capsule taken 3 times a day before meals to promote metabolism and effective body function.

Soothe - this is a capsule taken before dinner the helps enhance digestive health and reduce inflammation

Detox - this is a powder that basically consists of raw fiber that is mixed with water and drank 30 minutes prior to each meal to help remove toxins and waste in the colon.

My struggles this week were purely mental. Why does knowing you CAN'T have something make you want it so much more?! What I am learning is the willpower isn't something you are born with. It is something you develop and grow. Each time you say NO to something that you shouldn't have, your willpower muscle gets stronger. This is why so many people throw in the towel early in their journeys - because its not easy, especially in the beginning. I have to remind my challengers a lot that most times, you have to just push through the mental blocks and start - the motivation will come later when the results arrive.




Physically, I actually feel really great. I am sleeping very well and haven't been waking up in the middle of the night at all. I joked the other day that I'm not sure just HOW good the sleep could be since I have a 6 month old and he wakes up early, but the hours that I do get are fantastic. My energy level during the day is really high. Where before I would snuggle up with my coffee and the Today Show anchors, I am now powering through household chores and work early in the morning and throughout the day. I no longer feel the need to have a cup of coffee, though I do miss the taste. I may switch to half-decaf/half-regular when we are done so I can keep my caffeine addiction in check.

If you have been following my journey you know that we cheated on Mother's Day. It was SO good. But I FELT AWFUL!! I was certain that I swallowed a brick. Bill kept saying, "I feel like I can't enjoy this because I just feel GUILTY." Even now, Tuesday morning, as I type this I still feel a little icky in my belly. Bloat is also common during Detox week, so the combo didn't sit well. Was it worth it? Physically, no. Mentally, yes - because I feel like my mind got it's fix and I could move on. That being said, that right there is living, breathing proof that food addiction is real.

Next up is Phase Three: Restore. This week, we cut back even farther on grains and will be eating mostly fruits and vegetables. The detox supplement is gone and we now add Revitalize which is designed to restore healthy bacteria in our "freshly scrubbed" digestive tracts. This week for me is all about pushing to the finish line and PROVING to myself that I can do this!!!

The week two final measurements (totals for 2 weeks):

Chest: -0.5 inches
Waist: -2.5 inches
Hips: -2.5 inches
Right arm: -0.75 inches
Left arm: -0.75 inches
Right thigh: -1.5 inches
Left thigh: - 2 inches

Pounds lost: 12




As a final note, I am shocked by the number of people that have said to me "I could never do that." Neither could I. But I did. And you can do. You just need to BELIEVE that you can, find someone to hold you accountable, work with a coach, and make it happen. Don't let your own self-limiting beliefs hold you back from greatness.

xo,
C