Failing to Try vs. Trying then Failing - What is Worse?

Since I became a fitness & wellness coach a little over a year ago, I have learned so much about myself and about others. I have taken time to observe and reflect on the way that the human mind works, particularly when it comes to risk taking.

Weight loss journeys, you see, are a risk. You have to put yourself in a fairly vulnerable position when you join a challenge group. It is scary to admit that you are unhappy!!! I have totally been there. I faked confidence for most of my teenage years and well into adulthood. The thing is, though, it's not until you admit that you have a problem that you will be able to truly commit to a solution.

Here is a really typical pattern I see:
Someone starts liking my posts and interacting with me a lot on Facebook. I send them a message and invite them to join us in a group since it seems like they might be interested. A lot of times this leads to a heart to heart about how this person is in a rut, struggling, feels unhealthy and unhappy. If I feel like I can help, I explain how and ask if they are thinking that joining one of my challenge groups will work from them. They will tell me that they need a day or two to decide. When I follow up, one of two things happen. One, I get CRICKETS.. nada.. no answer. Two, I get an excuse. "We don't have the money." "I don't have enough time right now." "I'm going to try the gym for a while." Whatever the reason, they back out.

This pattern has confused me since I first became a coach. At the beginning I took it personally as if people were saying something about me by turning down my invitation. What I have realized is that this pattern of saying no has nothing to do with me. There are some cases where the excuses are absolutely legitimate (this is rare). Most cases, though, it is simply fear. The same people that don't have money are posting about their Starbucks and outlet mall shopping trips. The same people that don't have time to be healthy have time to watch Real Housewives 3 nights a week.

So then WHY?! Why the heck are people so willing to live an unhealthy life!? Why don't people want to do the things that will make them healthy and therefore HAPPY?! Let me tell you why.

It is easier to fail to try than it is to try and accept failure.

BOOM! Let that sink in...

To put yourself out there and TRY doesn't mean you'll succeed. You could fail. In fact, if you will absolutely have failures along the way. But if you don't try in the first place, it's like you can't fail. That is what the negative lady that lives in your head wants you to lean towards (I don't want to call her Nancy, I know a lot of positive Nancies). She allows you to believe that it is better not to try at all than it is to try and then fail.

Let me tell you the truth though. If you don't try, you fail. You have to take risks to make success happen in your life. In fact, the only real way to fail is by not trying in the first place!! Yes, this applies to challenge groups and weight loss, but it also applies to other areas of your life. If you don't take action, you will be exactly where you are right now for the rest of your life. Sure, normal things will change, but you will give up control of the drivers seat.

You deserve to take control of your life. Take chances. Accept that failure is part of the process. Learn that the more your fail, the closer you are to succeeding. You will be AMAZED where life will take you when you leave your comfort zone, I promise.

xo,
C