First of all, congratulations!!! You are officially part of the mom club. It's a pretty cool group to be a part of. Instead of welcoming you in with advice, I want to welcome you in with a few promises.
I promise to never give you unsolicited advice but always answer all of your questions. I will not overwhelm you with facts and tips. I will not scare you with my own fears or scary realities. I will simply answer your questions to the best of my ability and share the resources I loved so you can sleep easier knowing what you need to know but not what you don't.
I promise that your fears are normal. I know that your heart is overwhelmed with emotion and, this early on especially, a lot of fear and worry. You are doing everything right. God, the Universe (or whatever Higher Power or Force you believe in) is carrying out The Master Plan. You just keep loving that baby hard and doing what you are doing. It will all work out how it is supposed to.
I promise to never say "just wait." Every day is blissful and terrifying all at the same time. When I was pregnant, each day was a battle between feeling good and bad. When I felt bad, I hated when people took that validation away from me by telling me to just wait for it to get "worse." Your feelings - physical and emotional - are very valid. You can vent and rejoice about them to me and I will just listen. And hug you if you need it.
I promise to help you understand that no matter how you feel, you are beautiful. You're creating a life. You are glowing with equal parts joy and sweat. You do not look fat. You are radiant. I know you are focusing on your insecurities but all we can see from here is beauty.
I promise to steal you away for pampering. Because pedicures make everything better.
I promise to tell you it's ok to eat ice cream for dinner. Not every night. But some nights.
I promise to be there when you are scared, because it's inevitable. I will reassure you that most of those tiny pains and kicks are normal and when I'm not sure, I'll encourage you to call your doctor so she can reassure you too.
I promise to help you know you are not alone. It can be scary being pregnant for the first time. No matter how supportive your husband is, he isn't feeling all the feels. He is certainly probably terrified and excited, but he isn't actually pregnant. He's not nauseated. He's not fatigued. He's not worrying about every move he makes somehow affecting the baby. You may feel alone, but you aren't. I've been there and I promise to make you feel like you aren't crazy - because you are not.
I promise your husband to talk you out of kicking him in the nuts when he says or does something that drives you crazy. He really is trying. He just wants to keep you and his new son or daughter safe. But he's going through a lot, too. He might feel like he will never be able to just be one of the boys again so he may be trying to hurry up and squeeze as much of that pre-dad life into the next 9 months. But he will always, always put you first. I know this because I know him. He means well. So when you want to kick him, just call me and yell about it. I'll listen and you'll feel better.
I promise, mostly, just to be there for you. Every pregnancy is different. You will go through things I never did. And I will have had experiences you never will. But you are already doing an amazing job. All those worries are valid and worth it. Because before you know it, you'll be holding your own heart in your arms. And he (or she) will be your biggest accomplishment.
And one last thing... You are already a great mom.
With love,
Your friend that gets it.
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