Mom Guilt

Let's talk about mom guilt. If you are a female and are responsible for bringing a child up in this world, you suffer from this condition, probably on a daily basis.

So many of us, as mothers, are navigating this new world of women empowerment (YAY!) while still holding ourselves responsible to traditional ideals. We want to bring home the bacon AND cook it. Oh yeah, and clean the house, keep the baby alive, keep the baby entertained, make sure the baby is always learning, make sure the bills are paid on time, organize the house, do laundry, and every other responsibility that exists.

But can we do it ALL?? I'm starting to believe that the answer is NO. And I think that is okay.

I am an entrepreneur and a stay-at-home mother. I am building a business that focuses on overall health and wellness - physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual. I am preaching balance and I am NOT living it.

I'm going to be straight with you: I am overwhelmed some times. A lot of times.

Being a new mom of one while building a new business from home isn't easy. And things will continue to get harder - new challenges will arise. (Don't tell me to "just wait" - go read this blog post about it if you're wondering why). But really, being any kind of mom with any kind of job (INCLUDING stay at home motherhood) and any number of kids isn't easy.

We, as a whole, are juggling so many balls, including, but not limited to: child rearing, cleaning, laundry, cooking, working, husbands, friends, finances, PTA, sports, after school activities, our own health and fitness, etc., etc. etc.

It. Is. So. Much. Pressure.

When I think about every move I make and how it can and will mold Liam into the man he will become, I start getting anxious.

Am I teaching him enough? Am I overstimulating him?
Am I coddling? Am I neglecting?
Did I overfeed him? Underfeed him?
Do we sing enough songs during the day?
Does he watch too much TV?
Does he have too many toys? Does he not have enough toys?
Does he sleep enough?
Should I be trying to brush his teeth longer than the 10 second spurts he allows it before thrashing his head around?
Is the house baby proofed enough?
Does he get enough sunshine & vitamin D?
Do we need a more expensive/fancier car seat?
Did I kiss him enough?
Should I be telling him he is smart, kind, and beautiful more often?

Seriously!? That train of thought came from about 45 seconds behind a computer screen. It doesn't cover half of the things I wonder about.

Today I had a mini-meltdown. I had a mile long to-do list and I was just CERTAIN that Liam would have a good nap day. An hour and a half in the morning and two hours in the afternoon. That's what a great nap day looks like for us. I had so much house work and so much coaching work so I needed those 3.5 hours in order to be able to spend time with my husband tonight. Well, that went awry right away when Liam got up from his morning nap about 45 minutes early. The same thing happened in the afternoon. I got NOTHING done. I had to text my mom friends to talk me off the ledge.

Did I get it all done tonight? Nope. Will I? Eventually, I hope.

One of my friends said these words to me today: "Somethings got to give." I hate hearing that. I want to do it all. I want to be the traditional wife that has the house clean and laundry done and dinner cooked. I want to be the mom that focuses all of her energy into raising her kids to be independent, kind, generous, intelligent, non-asshole adults. I also want to be the badass independent woman business owner that gets it done and provides for her family. But we CANNOT and SHOULD NOT try to do it all, right?!

Luckily, I have a husband that says to me, "screw the cleaning, screw the laundry, I will cook." Even that doesn't make it easier, though.

The point of this post is not to provide a solution - I don't have one yet.

I usually don't share my mess until I've turned it into a message. But the message of this post is simple:

If you feel like I do, know this:

You are not alone. 

So, mommas, let's just work together and navigate through letting go of this guilt. Let's lift each other up. Let's support each other. Let's get through the tough days and love the crap out of our kids together.

And in case no one has told you lately, you're doing a great job.

#momsrule